The One With B52

This is one of the funniest incidents of my life…………

It was close to 4 months after my transfer from Mumbai to Nagpur & I was back in Mumbai for Diwali break. A good 2 week break, especially if you take it after a year and half of back breaking field work.

So we decided to meet for dinner at our favorite restaurant. One of the things common amongst us was that we were all foodies or food hoggers I would rather say and not to mention that we were highly spiritual if u know what i mean.

It was Me, Pratik, Salil, Cliff, and Amit. we met at barbeque nations, it was almost a decade since we knew each other and things had really changed since then. Earlier it used to be road side Chinese stalls, local dhabas and now it was BBQ Nations , Pizza Huts, etc... we upgraded ourselves spiritually also from Zingaro beer Mcdowells and Alkazar Vodkas to Carlsberg, Chivas Regal and Smirnoff or Simranoff. (as Rakhi sawant would say)

So here we were discussing as to how desperate we were for a change of job thanks to RECESSION!!! and then came our first round of drinks, it was the TEQUILA for starters. We gave a countdown to it.

5 4 3 2 1 Gulp……Gulp……….Gulp

And we were back to snacking and discussing stocks, movies, professors, old college pranks etc…. then it was time for the 2^nd round of drinks. This time we decided to order drinks for each other. It was something we had never done before. It could be anything on the menu.

So the order was

Amit for Salil: Chivas Large

Salil for Amit: Long Island Iced Tea

Pratik for Cliff: Cherry Rum Fizz

Cliff for Pratik: Mojito

Well we were only 5 that day so Pratik decided to order for me

Pratik for Me: B52

B52 hmmm………….. I had never tasted it before but the name sounded quite interesting.

Actually if u Google B52 you will come to know that it’s an American fighter plane used for bombing enemy territory, I knew this (sometimes too much information leads to over imagination u will come to know why???) so I thought that this drink would be something like the B52 airplane.

It would be so strong that would make me feel as if I were flying or it would bomb my brain’s out, expecting to be a strong mix of all drinks, some sort of a large drink.

What came was an absolute brain shocker, I expected it to be a 300-400 ml drink it turned to be a 30 ml shot.

Just to confirm I even asked the waiter “ Baaki ka drink kidhar hain” he very calmly said sir “B52 itna hi aatta hain”

Everyone off them burst out laughing especially Pratik. Even the waiter couldn’t stop laughing

Well the second shocker was the price of that drink Rs.350/-ONLY. All of a sudden as if recession had struck me. These people laughed even more after knowing the price…

I have experimented on food before like bitter salads and kulfi @ Sheraton may be I will talk about them later but this ones the most laughed about………….

Well i can't forget these incidences cos some people wont let me forget them !!!!!

Hope u had a good laugh..

Cya till the next time

Bribe Vouchers to help INDIA Battle Corruption

Bribe Vouchers to Eradicate Corruption from the Country

After numerous schemes and loads of money wasted in fighting corruption, here’s my idea to fight corruption amongst the civil servants.

This is how its gonna work.

Bribe Vouchers will be introduced by government anti-corruption body.

These vouchers will be available at all the SBI branches. The vouchers will be available in denomination of Rs. 100/- and will have to be purchased from the bank by the person from now on to be referred as ‘victim’ who has been asked to pay a bribe. Those bribe vouchers will be paid to the government official from now on to be referred as “corruptor” who has asked for the bribe. A supreme court appointed NGO will keep a track of such transactions.

It will be mandatory for the corruptor to accept those vouchers. The victim will have to maintain the record as to how many vouchers have been given to corruptors. Once the corruptor accepts the vouchers it will be mandatory for him to do the work for which he has asked the bribe. There will be time limit of 3 months for the corruptor to do the job. Once the job is done by the corruptor, he needs to submit the vouchers to the bank, which will then be reimbursed to the victim. 90% of the amount will be given back to the victim. 10% percent deducted as service charges for the bank. The entire bribe amount will be then deducted from the corruptor’s salary.

Incase the corruptor does not do the job, after 3 months the same amount will be deducted from his salary or his pension or gratuity amount. The victim would be compensated 90% of the amount. 5% of amount would go toward to bank service charges and 5% would be given to an NGO as fee, which will then help the victim.

If the corruptor has taken the vouchers, done the job & not submitted them to the bank, after 3 months it will be considered as job not done and will result in deduction from corruptor’s salary.

If the corruptor refuses to accept these vouchers his name, division, rank, amount taken as bribe needs to be submitted to NGO who will then take the case and help the victim. If the corruptor don’t improve or are harassing victims they will be suspended from their posts and all benefits will be revoked for life term including retirement benefits.

The NGO will also maintain a data of incorruptible officers from now on known as “The Untouchables” they will be paid a yearly bonus for being honest and maintaining the dignity of their jobs. The list of Untouchables will be maintained to secure the reputation of “The Untouchables” so no one tries to make false claims against these people.

The Untouchables will be audited on a quarterly basis via mystery audits to keep a check on them.

Noticing that honesty pays and corruption does not will make people change their attitudes and hence reducing corruption amongst the government officials.

Hope this works!!!!!